An Agile Transformation Thanksgiving

How to become less agile through eating too much on Thanksgiving!

Transformation: Converting your waistline from loose casual slim and trim to post-holiday tightness and regret! This will make you less agile!

Self-organization: Everyone gather in the kitchen, and just start cooking! (The more cooks, the better!)

Planning Session: When planning the Thanksgiving meal, everyone gathers in the kitchen and talks through each dish they want. There are too many dishes, so write each dish on a post-it note, affix them all to the fridge, re-order them, stand back and make them all anyway!

Standup (before the meal): Once every hour, everyone stops what they are doing (hopefully cooking) and explains what they are cooking and which wine goes best with their dish. Now take a drink of that wine. Since you are a team, salute the person talking and everyone take a drink. If someone misses the drink, start over. Keep drinking until you get it right.

Standup (after the meal): Once every hour (unless you are asleep), everyone stops what they are doing (probably watching football), get up from your recliner (if you can) and go back to the kitchen. Tell each person (who manages to get there) what you’re going to eat next as you make your rounds.

Taste-driven cuisine (TDC): Taste the dish before you even make it! Pretend to dip your spoon into it, and bring it to your mouth, and prepare to go “ahh!” – but only to find the spoon empty. Keep doing that as you cook until you really do say “ahh!!!”

Crumb master: the dog gets everything that gets dropped! He’s always around, sniffing here and sniffing there, poking his nose everywhere, but doesn’t really do anything! (except provide an essential glue that holds the family together!)

Culture challenges: Get ready for making smalltalk with relatives who you see once a year. And be prepared to listen hard to those who you have trouble understanding, or who spit when they talk, and smile! Drink lots of wine – that helps!

Continuous delivery: “George – bring out the first turkey!”

Sprint 0: The “idea” you have that not eating before this meal will let you eat more. The more time you spend not eating the more you will be able to eat. Also, the amount of running that you can do after dinner (zero).

Executive leadership: Mom is in charge. There is no servant leadership here!

Dealing with interruptions: The dog just won’t stop barking! The doorbell keeps ringing! Kids keep running through the kitchen! “Oh no! – I just poured orange juice into the cake mix! – hey, that might be good!”

Automated deployment (pre-production): It’s 2014, and the guys still just sit at the table while the women serve them. ;-(

Automated Deployment (post-production): The rush of air felt when dinner is over and the mass exodus to the living room occurs.

Refactoring: When you run out of wine and have to switch to beer!

Sustainable pace: Eat slowly, or you will get full before the meal is over. Make sure you leave room for that final “Lardening Sprint” – dessert!

Retrospective: “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing! And now it’s time to clean up – gosh, now I wish we had used fewer pots!”

What are your Agile Transformation Thanksgiving ideas? (add as comments)

Transformed! - Not very agile anymore